avenue m

date: june 7, 2007
bet: is upgrade cycleworks located on chicago or milwaukee? mason thought milwaukee, olive thought chicago.
stakes: dinner
winner: you can probably find out with a little help from your friend the interwebbernet
loser: hint!
location: avenue m
cost: $100.00

olive: so mason wanted to stop at this bike shop near our place which he alleged was located on milwaukee ave. but like richard marx, mason shoulda known better. i was basically certain said shop was actually located on chicago ave, primarily because i rode the bus by this place for the past two years, and i'm not a moron.

to celebrate my victory we went to avenue m, which is very posh, and at first glance, very likely to be a mecca for douchebags and dudes that get their chests waxed and then pretend they're just naturally hairless (spoiler alert: men actually grow hair on their chests. only in rare post-puberty cases in western society do men completely lack chest hair. you do the math!). anyway, we were surprised to find quite a mixed crowd inside. certainly there were the aforementioned douchebags and chest waxers, but there were also quite a few business types, older couples, ladies in fancy duds, slutty ladies in fancy duds and others.

after being promptly seated, our waiter came by to take our drink order and we gladly obliged. i accepted the waiter's recommendation of the brooklyn lager, which he promised would satiate my taste for something smooth and a little bit sweet. mason casually mentioned to the waiter that if we weren't at the table, we'd be at the bar where mason could take down a tobacco stick. moments later, we made good on this by going to the bar for the aforementioned purpose, and our waiter, the clever beefy lad that he was, had the bartender deliver our drinks to us in the bar rather than sending them to an empty table where they'd have to sit all lonesome-like. this pretty much won us over immediately, but the nail in my pleased-as-punch coffin was that the brooklyn lager recommended to me was everything our waiter had promised.

mason: well olive definitely nailed the description of this joint. honestly, if i wasn't already half in the bag when we got there, i might have been a bit turned off by the general atmosphere in this place. after all, i don't wax my chest. it has hair. and i love it. sometimes i comb it and other times i put little bows in it. that is private, though, so if you tell anyone i will deny it.

anyway, that thing about having our drinks delivered to the bar was just about the greatest thing i've ever experienced. why can't more restaurants do this? honestly, i don't know if it was the restaurant or our server, but either way, it paved the way for what you're about to read, which is a near 100% positive review.

to start, we ordered some sort of crazy caprese salad from bizarro world. i'll let olive expand on this, but i only took one bite, which tasted like oranges (hint: there were no oranges in the dish). it just wasn't that great, but i'm not even going to hold it against them because the lobster bisque i was treated to immediately following was THE BEST I'VE EVER HAD. that's right, and i don't make that claim lightly. i've had bisques from around the planet (read: chicago, italy, wisconsin, and sarasota), and this one took the cake. it was perfectly creamy, had a plentiful amount of actual lobster chunks (something curiously missing from many bisques), and had a secret ingredient -- sweet corn ragout -- which set it above and beyond in the world of lobsters and the realm of bisques. so yeah, it was good.

olive: ah yes, the bizarro caprese. in addition to mozzarella, basil and tomatoes, this little beast included a roasted artichoke. the appetizer pile was covered in a tangy, almost citrus-y sauce, which seemed out of place and frankly, a bit gross. the mozzerella, however, had an oh-so-yummy melt-in-your mouth consistency, so it wasn't a total bust.

for the meal, i ordered the grouper off the specials menu. it was served in a merlot reduction sauce with truffles, mashed potatoes and asparagus, and it was fantastic. the fish was mild and tender with a delicate crust. the sauce was smooth with a slight tanginess (good tangy, not bizarro caprese dressing tangy) and the truffles were a great complement. ordinarily, i abstain from eating mushrooms, mostly because i dislike the texture, but for these little slivers of tastiness, i made an exception. i relinquished my fork on the threshold of bursting from a happy and full heart and tummy.

mason: i went with the dragon roll -- AGAINST our server's recommendation -- which consisted of smoked eel, fresh crab, tempura crunch, avocado and unagi sauce. turns out our server -- who said his place of employment's sushi, and i quote, "is no mirai" -- was about half right. although mirai happens to be one of olive's and my favorite sushi joints in chicago, we purposely avoid comparing other sushi joints to it, because it's just not fair. so this sushi was pretty decent -- the fish was fresh and delicious -- but the rice was a bit overdone, which made the sushi a bit difficult to eat. regardless, i had a real hankerin for sushi that night, and i wasn't disappointed. what the sushi lacked in solidarity for consumption it made up for in freshness and an abundant accompaniment of some of the freshest ginger and wasabi i've ever tasted. suffice to say, i ate the shit out of the entire roll, with the exception of maybe one or two bites indulged by olive.

so the meal was pretty darn great. i can't tell you how pleased it makes me to take on a delicious one-two punch of lobster bisque and sushi. the real treat about avenue m, though, was the bathroom attendant, and the whole bathroom experience for that matter.

in between the bisque and the meal, i found time to steal away to the bathroom. after inquiring as to its geographical location within the restaurant, i was pointed to a hallway in the back which seemed like about a city block's walk upon entering it. about halfway down the hallway, i was greeted by walter, avenue m's bathroom attendant and one of the most pleasant dudes i've ever met. he ushered me into my own private bathroom, of which there are about 5 or 6 at the end of this hallway, all of which form a semi-circle around walter's little set-up of cologne, breath mints, and most importantly, cigarettes. you see, i was out of smokes at this point, but walter gladly obliged me, despite my warning that i was cashless. what a guy. i made sure to return to the washroom later with some duckets borrowed from olive, which procured me, as it turned out, yet another cigo.

so walter, if you're reading this, cheers to you. if the bisque doesn't earn avenue m a return visit from these bloggers, you certainly will.

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palmer house - part II (the outcome)

date: may 16, 2007
bet: at an "industry event," will either olive or mason introduce the other as their "lover"?
stakes: bragging rights (lunch is free), potentially massive embarrassment
winner: none
loser: both?
location: palmer house (17 east monroe)
cost: free!

olive: i've been dreading this outcome entry, so i'll just come out and say it. there is no winner for us to announce and lunch was crap.

what a couple of sorry saps. i mean, i was already counting on being a sorry sap, knowing that it would take me a lot of guts and a brief lapse in judgement to call mason my lover in front of colleagues or superiors. but mason? he should've had this one in the bag. i was even rooting for him. but opportunity eluded us both. we both arrived late to the pre-lunch cocktail reception leaving us only moments before being ushered to our tables on opposite sides of the banquet room.

the event organizers didn't waste any time starting the award ceremony, which was sort of like a graduation -- names were called in quick succession as people filed across the stage to collect their earnings. it soon became clear that the only way either of us could win the bet would be to abandon our respective tables and co-workers, traverse the crowded room to find the other, draw attention away from the ceremony and risk missing our own names being called so that we too could walk across the stage and procure a nifty glass sculpture.

mason: quite right. it was bogus. i really don't blame us, though. as olive already explained, there just wasn't an opportunity. i was poised and ready to win this one, as i have little to no regard for how big of an idiot i look like in front of my colleagues, and as far as olive's colleagues are concerned, i could care even less.

but alas, we barely had time to say hi, let alone embarrass one another. and as olive so eloquently put it, the food sucked. it was some dried out stuffed chicken concoction with veggies and rice on the side. suffice it to say that i was forced to purchase a real lunch immediately following the event.

at least we got to meet robin robinson and bill zwecker, who were the hosts for the evening. robin was funny and bill was kind of blah, but overall they made an otherwise boring as hell event somewhat tolerable.

so it was a long wait for nothing. sorry readers. we promise the next bet and lunch will be much more interesting. in fact, because this outcome was so lame, i will tell you that the bet has already been lost by yours truly and the destination to be reviewed is one that olive and i have both been clamoring to add to our roster of restaurants blogged about.

until then, i'll leave you with a sad, but somewhat hilarious explanation (beyond the huge crowd and terrible smell) on why this was probably the last year olive and i will attend mayfest.

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palmer house - part 1 (the bet)

date: may 16, 2007
bet: at an "industry event," will either olive or mason introduce the other as their "lover"?
stakes: bragging rights (lunch is free), potentially massive embarrassment
winner: ?
loser: ?
location: palmer house (17 east monroe)
cost: free!

olive: May 16th will mark quite a milestone in the O&M relationship. Since we parted ways, professionally, our paths really haven’t crossed outside of the occasional office happy hour/event where significant others are included. But tomorrow, all this will change.

Mason and I are both attending a PR industry awards luncheon for respective work done at our respective places of business. Hello industry couple! I think we deserve a fancy-dancy couple name often assigned to certain other-industry couples by the yo-yos in our very own industry (Malive? Masive? Olson?). Anyhoo, we’d be fools not to capitalize on this special event by setting some stakes (and hopefully not steaks, because that wouldn’t be a very pleasing lunch in my book).

mason: I wouldn't mind a steak, but would rather have pasta or a sandwich. I hope the good folks at the palmer house are taking this down.

olive: We will undoubtedly be doing some introducing of each other at tomorrow’s lunch, so why not make it interesting? The first person to introduce the other to a new person in one of the following manners will be the winner:

"I’d like you to meet Olive, my one true love."

"Allow me to introduce you to Mason, my lover."

Of course, it can be a variation of this, but you get the idea. Stay tuned for tomorrow’s winner and a review of the PH lunch.

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O&M site "feed" -- appropo for a food blog

well better late than never. and i can't tell you how pleased we are that this whole technology is called a "feed." they might as well have called it a "chomp."

anyway, just paste this URL into your aggregator, homepage, etc.

http://www.oliveandmason.com/oliveandmason.xml

now you'll be able to get our posts delivered to you rather than having to check our blog eight times a day (which you know you do) for new tales of dating, betting, lunching and reviewing.

a link to the feed is also located at the bottom of the left column of the home page of this blog (one more "of the" there would have been a disaster). for those of you unclear on what this is (joanie, i'm talking to you), visit your friend and mine for further explanation on another way the interweb can make your life a little easier.

and don't forget to read our latest review (tuscany on taylor) below...

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tuscany on taylor

date: may 4, 2007
bet: will mason keep his promise to be home by 8pm on the night of his office's annual cinco de mayo celebration?
stakes: dinner
winner: olive
loser: mason
location: avenue m (695 n. milwaukee) tuscany (1014 w. taylor)
cost: $100.00

olive: mason and i had big plans for thursday dinner - a little homemade concoction that i like to call mexipies. as usual, i was starving, but mason, as indicated by our bet, was consumed by the office cinco de mayo party, and thus not around for dinner. i called to let him know that i had to proceed with the mexipie plan without him due to my condition of starving, but he coerced me to agree to wait until 8:00 p.m. when he surely would be home to partake in the mexipie feast. i agreed, and a bet was born. but 8:00 came and went without incident - less than surprising knowing that mason had probably been sharing a seat with liquid enemy numero uno (aka tequila) all evening. he waltzed through the door, as only a tequila-happy mason can waltz, at about 8:20, effectively crowning me queen olive, lord of the mexipies, winner of bets.

mason: let me just jump in here with a quick aside about olive's mexipies -- they are damn good, and damn fitting for a post-cinco de mayo party feast. in actuality, they probably deserve their own review, so i'll stop the description here. but know this dear readers: my tardiness and resulting bet loss were not for lack of trying nor lack of interest, and the mexipie that i enjoyed once i finally got home and olive finally stopped gloating was fit for the king of mexico himself. in fact, it was so glorious that it's earned the name "mega-mexipie" because of the extra care that was taken in its preparation (thanks to olive's younger sis for the extra ingredient suggestions).

olive: we planned to celebrate my victory at avenue m, or so mason might have you believe. it's conveniently located near our apartment (we can see their outdoor patio from our back porch), and we've been anxious to explore what appears to be a delectable menu. sadly, we couldn't get last-minute reservations on friday night, so we defaulted to tuscany on taylor street. and i am exceedingly pleased that we did.

mason: note that there are a couple other tuscany locations in the city, and both olive and i have eaten at all three on more than one occassion. one is in wrigleyville a block south of the metro on clark and the other is crammed into the nordstrom's food court on michigan. while both locations have a nice selection of choices, neither can even come close to comparing to the taylor street location, which is where it all began (sigh...).

olive: the restaurant has a couple dining areas. we were seated in the main room up front, which featured numerous packed tables alongside a somewhat open kitchen. the place was bustling. our waiter was a large, older italian man whose first job was to mix the garlic. allow me to explain: each table in the place is supplied with a plate of roasted garlic, which the waiter then mashes and mixes with a bit of olive oil and a few spoonfuls of parmesan. we were brought a basket of warm italian bread, and we took the liberty of assuming that said bread was to be coupled with the garlic potion our waiter so masterfully prepared. the sponge-like interior of the crusty table bread was the perfect match to the garlic, and as what one might call garlic super-fans, mason and i were happy to indulge. i probably would have been satisfied filling up on this alone, but there was more deliciousness to be had this night.



side note: i would caution anyone who is not a fan of garlic to avoid tuscany, because it's abundant at this place. i would also caution anyone who is not a fan of garlic to have their tastebuds examined because that just isn't right (i'm talking to you, grandma).

now, onto the meal. to start, i ordered the insalate della casa, comprised of delicious crisp greens, cherry tomatoes, carrot shreds and a light vinaigrette dressing. this salad was perfect in just about every way. none of those pretentious, bitter weeds that too often find their way into house salads. the cherry tomatoes exploded with sweetness upon crossing paths with my chompers, and it wasn't long before everything else in the salad dish disappeared down the belly hatch. major satisfaction.

for the entree, i selected the tuscan whole roasted chicken and potatoes. man, they weren't kidding about a WHOLE roasted chicken! the bird was as big as a house, or at least a small dog. but it was decidedly chicken, and decidedly juicy and delicious. the roasted potatoes were quite delightful as well. they even had this great, tough roasted skin that really trapped in the flavors of whatever herbs were used.

and while the food was nothing short of incredible, the thing that really put this meal over the top was the service. our waiter was so attentive, and he had such great character. i especially enjoyed how he spoke to us in a mixture of english and italian language, responding to each of our requests with "si si" and a gentle pat on the back. this guy clearly knew what he was doing. we witnessed several satisfied customers thank him personally after their meal, handing over rather beefy chunks of change. he even helped ensure that mason got "the good pasta," but as the gracious winner of bets that i am, i'll leave that tale up to his telling.

mason: the good pasta indeed. but before explaining this, i want to talk about our bet for a second. as some of you already know, there have been numerous bets made while one or both of the authors of this blog were under alcohol-induced duress. that's all well and good most of the time, as it usually makes for some of our more interesting bets (i believe the now infamous "makeout bet" was made by a semi-drunken olive -- otherwise, i don't think it would have ever come to fruition). but then there are cases like this where a completely sober olive coerces a partially (read: completely) tanked mason into a bet that involves him leaving a company gathering early (which he hates). so, although olive won the bet fair and square, please let these past few sentences represent my informal protest of her bet-making tactics.

olive: classic mason, trying to pawn off the bet-making blame on someone else.

mason: so on to the actual meal. honestly, there's not much more that needs to be said about our general dining experience. as is usually the case, the tuscany staff was extremely kind and the service was unmatched. likely due to our reservation, we were seated immediately despite the fact that the restaurant was packed, and the garlic/oil/cheese was prepared and our drink orders were taken before we could even open our menus. our waiter reminded me of one of my older male relatives -- very italian and a bit plump -- and the two large parties flanking our table reminded me of my entire family -- loud, hungry and semi-obnoxious.

to start, i had about a loaf of bread. that's right. a loaf. you see, this garlic/oil/cheese combination is so good that the only way you can really force yourself to stop eating it is by running out of bread. betwixed loaf and entree came the seafood soup, which was full of vegetables, shrimp, salmon and squid -- damn good if you like that kind of fishy dishy. i just wish i had saved some bread to dip in the soup (fool!).

for the entree, i opted for the angel hair with marinara. i usually stay away from simple dished like this at italian restaurants for two reasons:

1. the star of dishes like these is the sauce. and i've been hard pressed to find a red sauce that i like better than my own mother's.

2. i love some sort of meat in my pasta. whether it's meatballs, sausage or seafood, it always makes the meal a bit more impressive than it would be otherwise.

on this occasion, though, i was interested in trying tuscany's red sauce because i had heard from numerous people -- including several family members who have tasted my mother's red sauce -- that it was the best in the city. but what about the meat? well, i decided to ask our waiter if he could add some italian sausage to the dish, which he was very happy to do. not only that, but as olive alluded to earlier, he said he would also give me "the good pasta" instead of the regular angel hair, for which i had no argument.

i'm going to make my review of the main course as short and sweet as possible:

i ate the whole damn thing.

sure, olive had a bite or two, but the rest went straight down MY belly hatch, and most likely directly to my thighs.

seriously, though, tuscany's portions are no joke, and given the loaf of bread and bowl of soup i'd already consumed -- not to mention a couple glasses of cabernet -- i was pretty darn impressed with myself.

the only other thing to add is pretty representative of the way this restaurant operates, which is classily. very classily. olive and i valet parked our auto, as we usually do when we frequent this place (parking is a bit tough), but realized as we walked in that we had no cash. olive was a bit concerned about this, which is olive's way, and was anxious to take to the streets to find an ATM. never fear, i assured her, our waiter will help us out. sure enough, after a quick explanation that i wasn't even sure he understood, our waiter brought our bill to us with a ten dollar bill stuck in the side pocket. now that is classy. dude can't even speak very good english, but he knew what we needed and was more than happy to oblige.

for those of you who have been alarmed by the cost of our meals in the past (posie, i'm talking to you -- are you still reading?), please know that the $100 bill was about 25% tip, not including the $10 we already owed the waiter for his valet-related solid.

frankly, i'm of the opinion that when service and taste align in such a way as it did at tuscany on taylor last friday night, it's more than worth a 25% tip.

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